Tackling the Tough Transition to High School- A Guide for Parents

 School transitions mark milestones in children’s development. Watching their child march into the Kindergarten room by themselves can be one of the most proud yet heartbreaking moments for a parent as it is symbolizes that first step towards independence. And while each transition brings more of that independence, we know that our children still need us to guide and support them through these life changes. As they grow and mature, the ways we support and guide must as well. This article will help you explore the needs of your soon-to-be high school student and how this transition can be eased with the right planning, preparation, and communication.
 
The transition from elementary school to secondary school is an exciting one, but one that can also bring high levels of stress and anxiety. The first step to offering support is to get a good understanding of what actually worries your son or daughter about high school. While many parents often jump to the larger issues like drugs and alcohol use, research has shown that kids are often actually focusing on the basic issues like how they’ll find their classroom or if they’ll remember their locker combination. Concerns about high school often fall into one of three categories: logistical, social, and academic. Understanding these concerns and addressing them in positive and motivating ways can do wonders in preparing your student to excel.
 
The most obvious difference between elementary school and high school is the environment! High school presents a much more complex atmosphere which can intimidate even the most prepared pupil. Logistical changes like the size of the building, the number of students, and the changing of teachers for different class subjects, are all factors that can be addressed with the right preparation. 
 
Summer Prep
 
Do your homework! Explore the school website, read the student handbook, and investigate the campus map with your child. The more accurate information your child has about the school, the better prepared he will be. Encourage attendance and accompany your child (when appropriate) on campus tours, orientations or events for incoming students. Take full advantage of any academic or recreational summer programs offered at the new school so that he can get used to the campus in more relaxed situations.
 
In the weeks before school starts, equip your child with a lock for his locker so he can practice and get comfortable with it. A watch is also an essential tool he should get into the habit of wearing. Once class schedules are distributed, make a minimum of 4 copies. One should be hung somewhere in the kitchen for quick reference. The second copy should be posted in his bedroom, the third in his locker, and the fourth taped inside his daily agenda. Encourage your child to colour-code the schedules, with a different colour representing each class subject. This way, when in a hurry, a quick glance is all that is needed to plan the day. Addressing some of these simple logistical issues well in advance can help him feel more confident right from the start.
 
Social Situations 
 
The second and probably most important factor in your pre-teen having a positive high school experience is the social aspect. As your daughter walks into her new school, she is also stepping through the front door of her adolescence, a stage where peer relationships are at the forefront of importance. Being part of a group and fitting in will likely be essential in her mind, which means making friends is going to be a top priority. Open your mind to this and support her in her search to find her place in the social network, while at the same time encouraging her to keep grasp of and develop her personal identity. Remember how self-conscious you felt at the beginning of high school, empathize with her, and reassure her that she will be more comfortable over time.
 
One of the best things about the large and more diverse atmosphere of high school is the increased opportunity to make new friends and find a place to fit in. Being in multiple classes with different students each day broadens the chance of your son or daughter finding a group they can easily become part of. Encourage your child to get involved in school and after school activities. Whether it’s being on a sports team, involved in the drama club or singing in the chorus, students who are involved generally have a more positive high school experience. 
 
It might be somewhat of a culture shock for a recent grade 6 student who was “king of the school” for the last 9 months to realize that he is now at the bottom rung of the secondary school ladder! Your son might come home flabbergasted at how “big” the older students are! He may have heard from others and be fearful of possible bullying by older students. Talk to your son about these fears. At this stage of the game, direct conversation might not be as effective as it used to be. Go for a car ride, walk the dog together, and work these issues into casual conversation through open ended questions. The more cool and relaxed you come across to your child; the more easily the discussion should flow.
 
On to Academics
 
Once your child has settled into the logistical and social differences high school presents, the academic challenges will likely start to appear. More homework, faster paced teaching and learning expectations, and less personalized instruction might all be shocking surprises to your pre-teen. Your son might come home complaining that he has an English paper due, a book report to turn in, and a science test all on the same day! High school teachers don’t have the time or ability to always coordinate who’s testing or grading papers on the same day and this can often be a rude awakening to first year secondary students.
 
Organization, time management and sound study habits are the foundation of your child’s ability to handle the academic pressures of high school. Encourage your child to develop an organization system that makes sense to them. Some methods that often work are color coding individual binders (to go along with the colour-coded schedule he’s already made!). There is no sense in showing up to class without last nights homework or today’s reading material. Binders should have pockets inside and have the class subject, room, your child’s name and his teacher’s name on the outside. If a binder is ever lost or left in the library, having a teacher’s name on it is helpful as it is likely that the student who finds it will recognize the teacher’s name and drop it by his or her room on the way to their next class. 
 
Time management is essential to fitting in the increased amount of schoolwork, extra curricular activities and of course, socializing! The correct use of a daily planner will help your child stay on task with what needs to be done and when. Encourage the use of a planner for daily reminders to long term project planning. Help your daughter organize her time through creating a schedule and support her in sticking to it. Encourage her to use spare time (waiting for the bus or for an after-school activity to start) wisely to get some reading in or review class notes. Support her in finding a balance between all that high school has to offer, as both academic and social aspects are important.
 
The study habits that your child developed in elementary school will be put to the test and need to be refined quickly during the first few weeks of secondary school. Acquiring good note-taking skills, reviewing material daily instead of cramming, and completing assignments on time are all essential to his success. Often times reading the textbook is not enough to absorb enough information to bring home an “A.” Encourage him to read the material and then teach it to you, a friend, or a sibling as when we verbalize what we’ve read; we’re more likely to understand it. 
 
Steps to Success
 
Remember that high school is a chance for your child to grow and develop their individuality. As parents, we take great care in smoothing the paths of change for our children. And while that is important, it is also imperative that you allow your child to learn how to make mistakes, accept responsibility for his own actions and take control of his own learning. As your child matures, so must your parenting style. By guiding them while at the same time letting go you will be doing your job to prepare them not only for school, but for life.
 
Melinda Atkinson                                            
Chief Executive Officer                                   
 
Sharon Klar
Academic Programs Coordinator
                          
Épique Programs and Training, inc. has emerged from nearly 20 years of success in offering dynamic and specialized programs, workshops and training to schools across Greater Montreal. Formerly working under the well known name and strong reputation of Bartimaeus, Inc., our programs and facilitators have developed into some of the most effective and relied upon supports to local schools when it comes to character education, academic success and leadership. We offer training to students, parents and school professionals on topics ranging from anxiety prevention to behaviour management. While affordable and convenient to book, our programs are tailored to the specific needs of each and every classroom and school we work in. Learn more on at www.epiqueinc.com.